Six TSA screening agents have been put in quarantine for the next six months after contracting numerous diseases from Paris Hilton's crotch as she went through the TSA screening area.
Merv Kocnic, a TSA supervisor at LAX spoke of the trauma: "Everyone was excited when she came through. Bill stepped up to the plate and got his rubber gloves out. When he knelt down to take a look at her crotch he recoiled in terror. He was sweating and spluttering, we thought the boy got rabies or something."
Airport disease prevention teams were then alerted to the TSA screening area and the whole area was immediately locked down causing many flight delays.
There were 45 people in the TSA zone when Paris revealed her crotch, all the travellers and TSA agents have been hospitalised and quarantined for the next six months.
"This has called untold misery and delays to everyone flying from LAX. I hope that skanky brain dead dirt bag is happy with her crotch rot diseases," an angry passenger told Fox News.
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