St George's NHS Hospital a Model of Britain's Healthcare System

LONDON - England - Most people who are admitted to hospital for a hip replacement don't think that they will be leaving in a body bag after being systematically tortured by nurses. Not so for those who enter St. George's Hospital in Tooting, South London.
For those who are unlucky enough to find themselves in Tooting with nowhere else to go but St. George's hospital, the Daily Squib can only recommend one thing: make sure that your Will is revised and ready to go.

It has been well known for quite some time that the nurses working at St. George's are lushes of the highest order. Indeed, one of them was so inebriated upon showing up for work one day that she accidentally injected one of the patients with the vodka from one of her ever-present bottles of booze. Fortunately this patient survived - others haven't been so lucky.

When the nurse was asked afterwards how she would feel if she had been one of the patients she is said to have replied, "Well, it ain't heroin, innit? What's the big deal?"

These are exactly the sorts of heartwarming answers that the friendly nursing staff at St. George's are known to give when they are asked why they are unable to perform even the most basic and menial of nursing tasks.

Take the case of Kane Gorny, for instance. A keen and fit footballer in his youth, he was struck down by a brain tumour. When it became

Kane Gorny murdered by the nurses at St. Georges hospital in Tooting
necessary for him to visit the hospital for a hip replacement, he was understandably in a lot of pain and unable to fetch a drink for himself.

Unfortunately, this being St. George's, none of the nurses had shown up on duty yet as they were all still recovering from monstrous hangovers from the night before.

When the nurses finally saw fit to show up, they ignored Kane. Their heads apparently hurt and it was too difficult to fetch him a drink. Kane begged and begged for fluids - indeed, he was so desperate that he even called the police, begging for some water to drink.

When police showed up they found four nurses huddled in the corner of the room clutching their bottles of Evian, laughing at Kane's very obvious distress. They were said to be taking bets on how long it would take for Kane to expire after they'd denied him any sort of fluids for three days straight.

Kane Gordy's mother, disgusted at the complacency of the nurses, managed to give her son a small sip of Ribena not long before he died.

When Kane finally died, the nurses were given "grief counselling" as they seemed so shocked at the death of the young man. If only the counsellors had really known that the only reason they were so upset was that many of them had lost vast sums of money in their bets, as Kane survived longer than they thought he would. While this may sound cold to some, it's just another day at St. George's.